Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
When are your genitals available?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
