Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
