My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
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I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
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My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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