So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
