Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize