Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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