he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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