It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
