Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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