everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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