we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
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I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
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I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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