Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
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i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
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you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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