Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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