he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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