Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
