I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize