I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
