I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
