doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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