He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
