girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
