I've blown a few things in my day
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Two words: nipple clamps
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