We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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