i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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