I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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