where am i from again
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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