New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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