Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
