Tell her she can't have a vagina
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
