I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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