yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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