At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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