He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
