happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
