i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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