I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
