Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
