Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(701): View more from North Dakota

There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops

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(701): There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops http://tfl.nu/5t7t

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(562): View more from California

If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up

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(562): If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up http://tfl.nu/jdv3

Replies (24) Good night (12096) Bad night (1466)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.

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(604): Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be. http://tfl.nu/j7k8

Replies (16) Good night (4982) Bad night (1246)
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(806): View more from Texas

What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???

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(806): What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head??? http://tfl.nu/gwk9

Replies (30) Good night (4759) Bad night (1655)
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(562): View more from California

Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.

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(562): Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek. http://tfl.nu/3lde

Replies (7) Good night (4006) Bad night (1431)
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(406): View more from Montana

As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.

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(406): As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins. http://tfl.nu/zjez

Replies (21) Good night (5547) Bad night (1286)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.

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(402): We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere. http://tfl.nu/yzs5

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(641): View more from Iowa

I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

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(641): I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. http://tfl.nu/90tm

Replies (18) Good night (1255) Bad night (1428)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?

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(403): All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/dlqr

Replies (22) Good night (3853) Bad night (728)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours

(301): View more from Maryland

........yyyyyyeah that's me

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(814): There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours (301): ........yyyyyyeah that's me http://tfl.nu/xtm1

Replies (4) Good night (1594) Bad night (591)
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(248): View more from Michigan

We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches

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(248): We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches http://tfl.nu/48qq

Replies (4) Good night (1117) Bad night (539)
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(619): View more from California

I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?

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(619): I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in? http://tfl.nu/31ig

Replies (2) Good night (1277) Bad night (410)
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(905): View more from Ontario

4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours

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(905): 4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours http://tfl.nu/zrgf

Replies (5) Good night (415) Bad night (531)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.

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(612): I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed. http://tfl.nu/fusc

Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (303)
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(734): View more from Michigan

But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs

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(734): But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs http://tfl.nu/hjry

Replies (1) Good night (230) Bad night (384)

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