Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh yea! I was just doing that too!

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  (814): I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina. (610): Oh yea! I was just doing that too! http://tfl.nu/grjr
  Replies (10) Good night (1001) Bad night (2445)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.

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  (201): and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate. http://tfl.nu/09wt
  Replies (34) Good night (3816) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.

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  (484): i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman. http://tfl.nu/dzx3
  Replies (55) Good night (7263) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore

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  (617): i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore http://tfl.nu/4xlx
  Replies (21) Good night (1465) Bad night (4582)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."

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  (407): Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything." http://tfl.nu/1ue8
  Replies (35) Good night (17409) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.

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  (541): plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college. http://tfl.nu/eor0
  Replies (158) Good night (1169) Bad night (7349)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,

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  (973): I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry, http://tfl.nu/9gek
  Replies (28) Good night (6225) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.

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  (508): My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life. http://tfl.nu/p0ex
  Replies (16) Good night (5845) Bad night (1553)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.

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  (720): I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group. http://tfl.nu/a06b
  Replies (7) Good night (5577) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad

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  (+64): i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad http://tfl.nu/7gyh
  Replies (27) Good night (1064) Bad night (6663)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me

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  (847): as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me http://tfl.nu/nasi
  Replies (23) Good night (6222) Bad night (1783)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  peace be with you.

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  (860): you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice (1-860): peace be with you. http://tfl.nu/ffop
  Replies (3) Good night (2216) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.

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  (402): I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/7j2p
  Replies (3) Good night (545) Bad night (1248)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts

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  (914): I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts http://tfl.nu/lyzo
  Replies (11) Good night (993) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.

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  (813): She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex. http://tfl.nu/7srs
  Replies (9) Good night (912) Bad night (290)

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