Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.