So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup