Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!

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(269): So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church! http://tfl.nu/fvvt

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(415): View more from California

did we hook up?

(925): View more from California

no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt

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(415): did we hook up? (925): no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt http://tfl.nu/pm3u

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."

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(832): I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant." http://tfl.nu/1fxo

Replies (8) Good night (5681) Bad night (954)
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(813): View more from Florida

The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer

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(813): The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer http://tfl.nu/rmdc

Replies (19) Good night (3792) Bad night (853)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.

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(678): Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce. http://tfl.nu/g2ub

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(214): View more from Texas

He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.

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(214): He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am. http://tfl.nu/wn9t

Replies (4) Good night (2137) Bad night (737)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved

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(480): Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved http://tfl.nu/be00

Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (2189)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.

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(720): You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis. http://tfl.nu/1eq4

Replies (3) Good night (1803) Bad night (635)
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(909): View more from California

Every concussion has its silver lining

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(909): Every concussion has its silver lining http://tfl.nu/a47p

Replies (8) Good night (905) Bad night (653)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I respect the size of her balls.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.

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(303): I respect the size of her balls. (1-303): Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else. http://tfl.nu/t5xu

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(251): View more from Alabama

dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists

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(251): dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists http://tfl.nu/lizw

Replies (3) Good night (983) Bad night (409)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.

(309): View more from Illinois

Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?

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(217): Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit. (309): Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed? http://tfl.nu/sacc

Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (470)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.

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(314): I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault. (1-314): Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/fjsh

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(347): View more from New York

And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult

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(347): And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult http://tfl.nu/hnba

Replies (4) Good night (653) Bad night (206)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.

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(505): She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem. http://tfl.nu/rpgs

Replies (1) Good night (962) Bad night (283)

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