I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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