I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
