yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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