my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
