I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
