wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
the liver wants what the liver wants
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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