i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
