i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my sisters under your porch take her home
Even the bartender felt bad for me
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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