the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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