Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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