i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
