before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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