i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
