Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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