They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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