Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
