just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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