i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
