This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
