Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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