That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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