what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
