Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
