You can't motorboat a personality
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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