Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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