Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Actions speak louder than pants.
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maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
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She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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