we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She said her name was "party"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
