just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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